Dear Amy,
I know you wanted to be friends with Keith Richards and I was like "no, he is a greazy old wrinkly whore" and you were like "right" and I was like "ok". Well, when we left the hotel, that old piece of grissel took my large Louie traveling case, the big one! So I am officially ending our friendship because there is no way I want it back. Even if you go to his house and get it for me, it will be nasty. He probably put dirty condoms, femi-doms, plush rabbits and god knows what else in there. Wait, what am I saying.. condoms.. um no, not Keith. NOW IM PISSED! I JUST REALIZED MY LUGGAGE HAS S.T.D'S!! That is the last time I go out with you and one of your new "buddies"!
Mel
I'm sorry...I just really liked him! It's not like I went down on him or anything, ok, well maybe just a little. But anyway, You will be glad to know that I purchased you a new(old) Louie Traveling Case at Johnny Depp's yard sale. And no, he wasn't there. But his agent was. And no matter what they tell you, it is NOT just like being with the real thing!!! And there is a HUGE difference in a corset and a truss!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all you can't "kinda" go down on somebody. You either spent some time south of the equator or not. Secondly, I don't want a new/old Louie. I want a new one, STD free! Thirdly, last time I called Johnny's people said he was still at Pearl Ultra Lounge in Hawaii. He apparently is held up in a VIP suite and won't leave. And finally, what the hell is a truss? Mel